Monday, July 15, 2013

RIP Amy Winehouse

I was sitting at my desk this morning listening to Adele and it sparked several realizations. Notes contained after points listed.

1. Amy Winehouse is dead and death is very real.
2. The radio ruins perfectly good music, but that does not mean that you cannot revive it later in life.
3. I live in three current states of self: past self, current self, future self.

1. In late April, 2011 I sat in a small café in Barcelona with my friends Alex, Jess, and Drew. We had just walked to see the Segrada Familia and some of Gaudi's other work in the city. We spoke to the waitress of the café who may also have been the owner. I perused the menu to ensure my selection was meat acceptable and mayonnaise free. I don't particularly remember the food but I remember the colorful walls and the friendly service, but mostly I remember the music.

I heard Adele's Rolling in the Deep for the first time while I sat in this café. I did not know who Adele was at this point, so I sat there and tried to figure out who was singing these words. I believe at that time that my best guess was Amy Winehouse. In retrospect, this was obviously quite far off, but not so far, I suppose. Either way- Amy Winehouse died less than 3 months later, July 23, 2011.

I doesn't matter that Adele sang Rolling in the Deep or that Amy Winehouse didn't but that three years ago I sat there listening to and wondering about this song. I didn't know Amy Winehouse but I do know a lot of people and they are all the same (most of them without the substance abuse issue).

One day some song or place or smell is going to remind you of someone you know. It may be your best friend or someone that you met briefly at one point in your life. You may think of them in passing and then three months later they may be dead. This sounds morbid but I mean it in the most inspiring way. Think of them while they are living. Reach out to them and love them.

They say life is short, but it is the longest thing that we do. Your life may be longer or shorter than others that you know. Do not take it for granted. Appreciate and love those that you want to love.

2. Rolling in the Deep was one of the most popular and therefore overplayed songs on the radio in 2011 and 2012 which had probably caused me to resent it. This reminds me of a time in 8th grade when one classmate pointed out how annoying one of our other classmates was. After classmate 1 made this comment I too started to think classmate 2 was obnoxious. I was young and impressionable at the time and maybe I had always thought 2 was a annoying, but never were these thought present until another brought them to the surface.

The radio and this 13 year old guy both made me dislike something or someone that I may very well have enjoyed, both by praise and condescension.

This has brought to light the effect that our environment has on my outlook and opinions. These are less easily swayed than when I was 13 but it is a reminder not to let the beauty or greatness slip through the cracks based off of the values that others bestow upon it.

I have listened to Rolling in the Deep about 7 times this morning and have enjoyed every play.

3. On July first I was talked to my dad and told him that 6 months ago I was sailing around BVI on the yacht week and commented "RIP past happy self". That does not necessarily mean that my current self is not happy or that my future self won't be happy, but I feel now that 6 months ago I felt a different self. Now I am trying to delineate these "selves" and analyze their revolution. Right now I think I can label that as traveling (work-wise) self opposed to lives and works in Houston self.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

CHAMPAGNE AND SUNSHINE

I've been doing some reflecting lately. I've been looking in mirrors and I've been looking into my soul. All of this so called "reflection" or probably what normal people do to process their daily lives, has lead me to the conclusion that I am very lucky in life in many aspects, and though I do not think that I take this for granted, I am certainly not appreciative enough.

It does not matter if you are walking at a snails pace or traveling at 100 MPH. After 60 minutes, an hour has passed regardless.

I last posted on December 27, 2012. I was a young, hopeful, 22 year old soul.

It is now June 20, 2013. Nearly half of a year has gone by and what have I been doing? I have probably been configuring some SAP solutions, I have probably liked some things on Instagram and I have probably traveled at many different speeds within one hour.

I am a slightly older, yet still young, and ever hopeful 23 year old soul. Recent events have lead to what I would call soul searching.

I have discovered an overwhelming and paradoxically balancing amount of maturity and immaturity in myself lately. In reality I drive a Honda Civic, live in an apartment and go work a desk job. In my mind I live in a world of champagne and diamonds, yachting around the south of France. While most people day dream, it is easy for them to make a clear distinction between their day and their delusion. My problem is the weekends and the time I take off of work. They pseudo bridge the gap between my mindset and my life, and this makes it all the more confusing.

During my recent reflections I have also been assessing my life "problems" but my problem is that I don't really have any. This is stupid but my problems really are the epitome of first world problems. When my biggest decision is summer 2014: Yacht Week Croatia or backpacking SE Asia or visiting South America, it is hard to consider that a problem. I am not naïve. I am not uninformed. I am not unaware. I have just not had to deal with many things in life. This has probably left be quite ill-equipped to deal with life. My actual (and real) biggest problem, is that I probably won't know how to deal with any big problem in my life when it strikes.

Pursuant to conversations on recent reflection, I started to feel weird or bad or something about having not had hardships. Someone told me that I should not feel this way. In my mind the only way to live in reality is to process the hardships of the real world. But should I expose myself to darkness if it isn't necessary?

To sum up all of this nonsense--I think to myself "life is champagne and sunshine" and then I later reflect that life may just sometimes be sparkling water and overcast skies. If I want it to be, life CAN be champagne and sunshine. I think it is just important to know that sometimes you may not have cold bottle ready to pop and sometimes you may have to bring a rain coat.